I've never been fully inlove before, I've never given my total self to another person.. I've always felt it was safer to stay in my comfort zone and love was always a dream of mine. I loved you Carson, even to this minute I still love you. I knew we were having problems but I thought maybe we could talk and walk through them but it seems you didn't think so... now I can't stop bawling or thinking about you and what could possibly be growing in me. I hope to god there is nothing growing in me, I don't want to hold you back.
I just wanted you to be there for me, I was crying my eyes out and you didn't care. That's all I ever asked from you. I gave you every piece of me and my love and I just wanted you to be there for me. That's all I wanted. This could have all been avoided if you cared for me. But writing this I'm starting to realize I'm the only one who cared, the only one who loved. I hope that isn't true, or id feel even more pathetic than I do now.
I just want you to be happy, I wasn't making that happen (god that hurts to say) I hope you find happiness and love. I'm sorry so sorry I wasn't able to provide that for you.
Maybe one day you'll realize what you had, and come back but for now my love life is going into hibernation mode.
I love you Carson Friese.
Please come back soon.
-Manda
